For the first time in my life, I’m not going back to school in September. I always thought that I’d be scared (and I am) or that I’d wish that I was going back. But I find that when I think that I don’t have to buy new binders and backpacks, or ride the bus to campus everyday or sit in classes that I hate, pure joy fills me. Even though I’ll be working full time, I really think that it’s better than school.
Looking back, I was never one of those kids who loved school. I was a kid who just didn’t care. Even in elementary school, I didn’t want to sit and do a project, or study for a test. I’d rather go watch TV, listen to music or most importantly write. I took school for granted. I know that now from watching things like CNN’s Black in America, I was lucky I went to schools that had good libraries and computers and somewhat good teachers. But I didn’t appreciate it when I was in it.
School was always a chore. I didn’t care about marks. I was too lazy to put any effort in to projects and I hated studying. There were moments that I’ve had in school that have broken me down. It was hard dealing with friends, and boys and peer pressure. Being called weird and boring and feeling jealous of people who had things that I didn’t.
A funny example of how much I hated school, when I was in grade 9 geography was mad hard and the exam was coming up. My mom would not let me watch TV until I studied and I was so pissed because I wanted to watch the TRL Superbowl special that was on TV that afternoon. For some reason that sticks in my mind as how I just didn’t give a damn about school. I wanted to watch the Superbowl. I was a weird kid.
In university my attitude didn’t change, it actually got worse. I would sit in class, but mentally I wasn’t there. If I had my laptop with me, I was writing or reading one of my novels, if I had a notebook in front of me, I was writing one of my novels. I did the least amount of work and studying possible in university and I graduated with honors. How did I do it? I have no idea. But it’s done, it’s behind me and now I can move forward and do what I really want to do. Write!
This fall, I will be working in a job I’ve had for three years. I enjoy it, but I need to move on. So I will be looking for a new job and writing. I just started a new book (finally!) that’s really coming along well and I’m going to work on getting my completed novels published. No matter how long it takes for that to happen. I’m going to keep working at it because it’s something I know I have to do.
It is scary, being out of school and working. It feels like adult life starts now. But I’m ready for it. I’m up for the challenge and I’m excited to see what the future will bring.