You never realize what you have, or how much you take something for granted until it’s taken away from you.
I’m going through that right now… with my headphones.
Rewind a few years. I used to work the morning shift at my job and we were allowed to listen to music until the store opened. So everyday, for about four hours, I’d have my headphones in, either listening to music or a learn Spanish podcast. Then after work, I’d come home and write and put my headphones back in, cause I like to write with music.
All that headphone use turned out to be too much for my ears. After visiting the doctor this week for the second time, I was told that I have to give the headphones a rest for at least a month.
“But doc, are you saying I can never wear headphones again?” I asked frantically.
The doctor looked at me like it wasn’t a big deal at all.
But it’s a HUGE deal.
There is something so sacred about having your headphones in. The commute to school or work isn’t that bad, doing homework goes faster, that walk to your car becomes a dance, you walk with your back a bit straighter because a hardcore hip hop song is blasting in your ears and you feel like you’re the shit. It’s everything. It kept me alive working that morning shift.
There’s something satisfying about listening to music no one else can hear. A nod of your head becomes a dance, standing on the subway platform lipsycing your favorite song becomes the music video in your head, a slow jam can hit you a certain way on the subway and you burst in to tears. There’s that feeling that your iPod knows exactly the kind of songs you need to hear. You play all your jams when your happy, that make you smile super wide out in public, or the songs that match the shitty mood you’re in.
You put your headphones in so you don’t have to listen to the stupid teen conversations on the bus, hear the babies cry, tune out the crazy lady on the subway preaching about Jesus, when you’re bored in class, when you want to watch a show on your laptop late at night in bed.
Headphones are life. Music is life.
I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m going to have to learn to tune people out, find books that I can completely lose myself in so I can forget where I am and what my life is like. Walks will feel longer, the subway rides louder, the day a whole lot lonelier.
I’m already counting down the days. The first week of April, I will be the girl on the subway with big, ear muff like headphones in, grinning like an idiot because I have my music back.