Tag Archives: school

Life Updates

At the end of this week, I’ll be finished school. I was so worried about going back after vowing I’d never ever go back to school. It turned out to be a pretty good experience. I met some amazing people, dealt with some hard challenges and came out stronger. There were moments I was literally on my kitchen floor crying, close to dropping out. But I stuck with it and hopefully I’ll have the experience and the education to get myself a real job that I enjoy.

I’ve been writing like crazy. It feels amazing. I’ve created a small challenge of finishing a novel in 8 weeks. I have three days left, I’m at 100 pages and almost 60, 000 words. I don’t think I’m going to be able to do it though. I’m near the end, but there are a few loose ends I have to wrap up before I can finish it. It’s another teen novel. I’m so proud of it. I love my main character, I love the boys in the book and its funny. Teen novels might be my new thing now. I’ve also started posting my fiction on another  blog. It’s an experiment, just to see what kind of feedback I get. So far I’ve gotten ZERO feedback, so we’ll see how it goes.

I’ve read some amazing books this summer. “Cutting for Stone”, “Silver Sparrow”, “In Darkness”, “Manchild in the Promised Land” and I re read both of Junot Diaz’s novels. When going through hard times, nothing makes me feel better than good fiction. I’m picking up “This is How You Lose Her” tonight. I’m dying to sink my teeth in to that book.

In November I am going back to NYC! It doesn’t even feel real yet. I’m going to be there for six days. Six days! The longest I’ve ever been there. I plan to do a lot of sightseeing, listen to some poetry, experience the nightlife and hopefully make some friends which would give me an excuse to go back soon. I haven’t been there in two years. I can’t wait to be in the city of my dreams again.

Now that school is over, I’m at a crossroads. I can throw myself in to finding a full-time job right away. Or I can stay at my shitty part-time job, keep making steady money and travel to NYC in November and possibly go to Europe in January. Going to Europe is a dream. I feel like I want to get that out of the way before I find a full-time job and am forced to become an adult.

Being in your 20’s is rough.


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That Feeling….

I’ve been in school for about a month. It’s been such a huge adjustment. I’ve literally gone from doing nothing, to having to manage my time to make sure I get everything done. But besides the school work, I’ve started a new story and I cannot stop writing.

Before school started I was working on two novels I’ve been working on for a while, probably over a year. I finished the rough drafts of both of them. Once that was done, I had that empty feeling I always get when I don’t have a story on the go. One night a few weeks ago, an opening line popped in my head (which is kind of how I start all my books) and I jotted a few things down. Now I’m in the thick of it, getting to know these new characters and finding out about them.

It is the BEST feeling. I’m writing and my mind is racing, trying to figure out what’s going to happen, why these characters are at this point in their lives and getting ideas of where I want them to go. When I’m not writing, I’m thinking about them, imagining the next scene in my head. I just want to dump all my ideas on to the page.

I’m working on another teen story. I really liked my first one (even though it needs a lot of work) so I wanted to try again. It’s in third person, about two teens who go to a performing arts school and how they fall in love. I’m very early in, but I really like my characters. If I don’t, I usually don’t finish the story.

Recently, I read “On Writing” by Stephen King, a book that I’ve been meaning to pick up for a while. I absolutely loved it because we write in the exact same way. King says don’t worry about plot, or outline every little detail of your story, focus on the characters and just write. He says he writes a rough draft in about a month, because he gets to the point where he can’t stop writing and needs to get everything down quickly. I do the same thing. I’ll never forget when I wrote my favourite novel with my favourite characters, I was in a state and finished that rough draft in 2 months.

Not saying that I write as good as Stephen King, but it freaked me out that pretty much all his suggestions about fiction, I’ve done naturally. I write like a maniac, my stories are character driven and once I finish my first draft, then I go back and change things around.

This is not a good state to be in when I should be focusing on school. And I am focusing on school! But since I was 10 years old, I’ve focused on school and had a story on the side to work on in my free time. It’s what feels right.

Sometimes this passion feels like a curse.

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Change… Finally

I’ve always had a love hate relationship to change. No matter whether the change is good or bad, it terrifies me. I remember being a kid, scared before I started middle school and high school, frightened before going to university, I was even scared to go to Punta Cana this summer. I don’t like not knowing what to expect in a situation. The unknown is something I tend to stay away from, preferring to stay in a comfortable place.

And for the past two years, I’ve been real comfortable. Since I graduated university in 2009, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with this life. I’ve applied to countless jobs, bombed more job interviews than I can count, worked my crappy part-time job in the mornings and wrote fiction for the rest of the day. It was painful, miserable, boring and lonely, but it was what I knew and it was safe. I was free to go on a few trips, and hit the gym every morning causing me to now be in the best shape I’ve ever been in my life. But I couldn’t keep living that life any more. So I’m making a change.

I’m going back to school.

It’s something I vowed I’d never do, because I’ve always hated school, but I’m desperate for a change. I need to learn more skills to get me the kind of job that will get me out of this city and to New York City. I’m so afraid about this change, I’m having nightmares. It will be an adjustment to be back in a classroom, having homework and essays to write. No more goofing around, having naps in the middle of the day. It’s time to focus, make some real moves and do some real work so I can have the future I want. It’s time to do something with my life.

The posts on the blog may slow down, but definitely won’t stop completely. 2012 is the year of change. I just hope it s a change for the better.


Filed under Personal